


Journal Of A Man Who Waited

by RuddiestBubbles



Category: MindCrack RPF
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4496118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuddiestBubbles/pseuds/RuddiestBubbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He waited for so long</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journal Of A Man Who Waited

August 3rd 2015 

Today Kurt left on his journey to the Far Lands. he promised he would return as soon as possible. he promised he wouldn't stay in that world forever. 

He had said his first visit back would be in a month or two, but most likely the later of the two. 

It's only been a few hours, but I already miss him. I can't wait till he comes home.

 

August 13th 2015

It's been ten days since he left. its been really hard on me. why I ever thought I could handle him being gone so long is beyond me.

Hopefully he's ok, that's all I want is for him to be ok.

 

August 23rd 2015

It feels like it's been forever since I've seen Kurt, but realistically it's only been twenty days, twenty horrible days. 

I always feel lonely now, even when friends are around. I almost feel neglected without the attention of my boyfriend, but I know that's not the case. 

I wish he was here.

 

September 3rd 2015

It's been a month and I miss him more than anything. I was hoping he would come home today, but he hasn't shown up yet and it's almost midnight. 

I hope he's doing ok, wherever he is. I hope he's doing better than me. I barely get any sleep anymore, I'm constantly worried, constantly fretting what could happen to him. 

 

September 23rd 2015

It's almost been two months! even though I've been suffering, it excites me that he will come home soon. 

I will finally be able to hold him again, to kiss him again, to just be with him again. I can't wait!

 

October 5th 2015

He was supposed to come home two days ago, and he didn't. I'm worried, so worried. I keep coming up with these terrible images, terrible thoughts, terrible scenarios, as to what could have happened to him.

Everyone has tried telling me that he's ok, that he probably lost track of time. but, I don't believe it, I can't, not when my boyfriend has been gone for so long.

 

December 25th 2015

It's Christmas today, though I have no reason to celebrate. It's been almost four months since Kurt left. the four months have been terrible, absolutely horrendous. 

I barely sleep, barely eat, and barely get out anymore. I feel so lost without Kurt. 

I feel like I'm going insane.

 

June 12th 2016

Today's Kurt's birthday, he's turning 34. Though I wish he was here. he still hasn't come home, and I'm worried sick. 

I'll probably go sit under the stars tonight, since they remind me of him, though almost everything does now a days. 

Happy birthday Kurt, wherever you are.

 

August 3rd 2016

It's been a year since Kurt left. I never leave home anymore, even the others can't get me to leave. I eat maybe one meal a day and maybe sleep an hour a night, but that hour usually consists of terrifying dreams of Kurt dying or getting hurt. 

But even through all that, I haven't lost hope. Kurt will come home eventually. he has to.

 

June 12th 2017

It's Kurt's birthday yet again, and he has yet to make an appearance. I've almost given up multiple times, almost stopped trying. but, every time, I would see that picture of Kurt and I, and I would always find the strength to face another day. 

Happy Birthday Kurt, my farlander, I hope you come home soon.

 

August 3rd 2018

Three years. it's been three years. I've almost given up so many times, I've almost slit my wrists, I've almost hung myself, I've almost done a lot of things. but, the only thing keeping me from actually doing it, is the thought of seeing Kurt again. the thought of having him back again.

It's all I can do now a days to keep myself going, and keep that small spark of hope ignited.

 

August 3rd 2025

It's been ten years. I haven't written in this journal in 7 years. 

I'm only writing in it now to say goodbye. I've totally given up hope, he's not coming home. he's never going to. 

I can't take anymore pain. I can't take anymore suffering. so this is goodbye, I don't know who will read this, or when, but know I waited for him for 10 years. I waited with the thought that my love would come home, come back to me. but, in the end, I guess it really didn't matter. I guess nothing did. 

I loved him, and he left with the promise of coming back. maybe in the end he never really loved me.


End file.
